There’s a mission, if you choose to accept it.
Go to Paris on your honeymoon- and put on some weight.
This is not a difficult task. In fact, it’s so easy, I’ve had to find some way of making it more interesting. Would you care to place a little wager?
In the two months prior to the wedding, with all of the other associated elements of life that have fallen our way, I got a little bit littler. On the day of our wedding, I’d was sitting at about 49.7 kilos.
Not all of that was intentional. The week before the wedding in an attempt to clean out the fridge I played Russian roulette with some barbequed chicken that had been there for a few days. It was only 3 hours later when every hair on my arms was standing on end and my stomach was doing the cartwheels that I’d never been able to do that I remembered that it had been in there for about six days. I had one of my oldest friends concerned that I’d become a character from a Marie Claire article- the kind of women that purposely eat off food so they drop some weight before big events . I had to assure her no. I was distracted and ditsy, not masochistic and psychologically damaged. But that episode took care of about another kilo or so.
So- here’s the challenge. I’m now on the other side of the world and I have no scales. All I have are some jeans that are a little too big and the intention to eat like there is no tomorrow. We’re gone for 4 weeks in total. How much weight can you put on in 4 weeks? And what percentage of that is likely to be made up of cheese?
Our trip is taking us through Paris for 10 days, then weaving our way down to Lyon, Bordeaux, Tolouse, Biarritz, then over the boarder to Mecca, so to speak; the place with more Michelin stars per head of population ( in Europe that is, Tokyo just recently snuck up with its own guide…) that’s San Sebastian then across to Barcelona.
There’s going to be some of those Michelin stars, some corner bistros, some tourist schlock and a bit of home catering. There’s going to be more pastry than you’ve ever dreamed of, frites, steaks so blu they are still mooing, crepes, cured meats, razor clams and churros galore.
The challenge is on. Place your wagers please.