It takes two to tango. Back in the day when I worked in the communications department of Family Planning (now THOSE were some fun team meetings) there was a health promotion campaign with that as a key message.
Now, with technology and increasingly fluid family structures, that might be a little less true than it once was.
But at this stage I’m happy to call it; a second pair of hands sure helps when you’re talking about creating life.
Since we’ve got something in the general vicinity of a red cabbage lurking in my middle- now that we’re officially into the third trimester, here are some things that I’m grateful to The Hungry One for.
Without saying a word, he will gently nudge me up the two flights of stairs to our flat- like a cat pushing a toy across a polished floor.
He doesn’t even blink when I make a noise most akin to a hippopotamus, marooned in mud when trying to get up off the couch. Nor when I get stuck in a piece of clothing and need help getting out of it.
Most mornings he will silently leave a yoghurt drink, a glass with vitamins and a cup of tea next to my bed as as a gentle alarm.
I get that this is a pretty thankless caper for the Dads. There’s a whole series of both noisy and private jokes between me and the stowaway that he’s not party to. Anytime I squirm of jump from a boisterous kick he’ll rush over- ‘can I feel it?’ Most of the time the bump will then go into hiding, with a severe dose of performance anxiety. It’s like your house is haunted by a petulant, persistent phantom.
Meanwhile the active, enthusiastic, heel wearing, occasionally quite-entertaining-when-three-glasses-of-pink-wine-down wife has been replaced by a distended mass wrapped in leggings and dresses that closely resemble sacks. It’s like living with a grey Grimace, who whimpers when it has to lean down to zip up her (flat) boots. These days my idea of a raging, raging night is to eat a shameful quantity of oxtail ragu and rigatoni while watching back to back episodes of ‘Grand Designs’- and then fall asleep on the couch at 9 pm.
There are compromises that need to be made. If he’s going out for a (rare) boozy night with his work buddies, we know now to shut the bedroom door and prepare the spare bed. Our room just isn’t big enough for three, plus the sweet peat of last night’s whiskey nightcap. We’ve now built an extra five minutes into the ‘out the door’ timetable- so nobody is left anxiously jangling keys or tapping feet while I dash to the bathroom ‘just one more time’.
And if I’m contemplating the movements of cabbage sized objects- and nursing a raging craving for slaw- sweet and crunchy, with fennel and pear, then I know to pick him up a monster of a pork chop to have griddled on the side.
While we’re passing time by keeping the home fires burning, this I know; the smell of smoking wood drifting in from the balcony is good for morale. Any excuse to light the barbecue is a good one.
And when making dinner (and a life)- a job shared is a burden halved. So for that, and many things- I’m grateful.
Nb, this makes quite a bit of slaw- though it will also keep well in the fridge to have on sandwiches the next day. The key here is the balance of flavours- the fennel adds a clean note of aniseed, the radish a sly hint of pepper and the pear helps sweeten it. The lower-fat alternative to a mayonnaise dressing is a muddle of yoghurt with apple cider vinegar. While I think it’s lovely with pork, it would also sit happily alongside any other grilled or roasted protein- I’m thinking spicy chicken would be a good substitution if pig is just not your thing.
Red Cabbage, Fennel and Pear Slaw with Pork Chops
Makes enough slaw for four people
Shopping/foraging
Pork chops
4 pork chops
1 tbsp fennel seeds, crushed in a mortar and pestle
2 tbsp of apple cider vinegar
1/2 tbsp honey
Slaw
1/2 medium red cabbage
1 small fennel, fronds reserved
1 crisp pear
5 radishes
1 small bunch of chives, finely diced
4 tbsp Greek yoghurt
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon of honey
Here’s how we roll
1) While you wait for your grill to heat up (you want to get it going on a high heat to start with), marinate your pork chops in the crushed fennel seeds, apple cider vinegar and honey.
2) To make the slaw slice the red cabbage as thin as you can, so it forms slim ribbons. If you have a mandolin, or a food processor, you might want to whip that out.
2) Do the same to create shavings of fennel (reserve the green frondy tops).
3) Core the pear and use either the food processor or mandolin to create thin slivers of pear and radish.
4) Combine together in a large salad bowl and add the fennel fronds.
5) To make the dressing for the salad whisk together the yoghurt, apple cider vinegar and the chopped chives. Season with a little salt and pepper.
6) Toss the dressing with the slaw and leave to sit while you grill the pork. (Nb, you can also make earlier in the day and leave it in the fridge so the flavours can get to know each other).
7) Grill your pork chops. Preheat the grill to as high as it will go (though if you are using charcoal, build one side hotter than the other- that gives you one side to sear on and another to cook from). Place the chops on the grill and put the lid down for one minute. Then flip them and close the lid for another minute. Open the lid and turn the heat down to medium. Rotate your chops and cook for three minutes with the lid down. Open it again, flip to the other side and cook for another three minutes. Let the chops rest for four minutes or so on a plate in a warm spot before serving with the slaw- and perhaps some chilli sauce on the side- if that’s your thing.
Forty Weeks of Feasting
Each week mad websites and baby books will tell you how big your baby now is in comparison to a seed, fruit or vegetable. It starts as a poppy seed and goes from there. To make this process a little more palatable, join me as I bake my way through. Here’s the journey so far.
Beautiful slaw! It’d be wonderful with sausages, I think.
Yum tori! This looks wonderful. that second photo of the cabbage is just stunning!
xx gemma @ andgeesaid.blogspot.com.au
Yes, that fellow is going to be quite the lovely dad I think. I have been thinking of you this week, as you roll (sorry) into this final trimester. It’s tough! Somehow as pregnancy gets harder and harder, and you get closer to the finish, that little person inside you becomes more and more real, and your love for them starts to become deeper, stronger, more intense and magical. It’s very much like motherhood really. More everything! Which is to say, don’t feel you shouldn’t complain. The work of first pregnancy and early motherhood is the hardest it gets. Even when you have more kids after that, the workload may grow, but the massive shifts you must make, psychologically and physically, are less shocking. It’s tough in your third trimester honey! You have never been a lumbering puffy whale before. Although I’m sure you wear it exceedingly well. I am adoring reading your accounts of pregnancy Tor. Can’t wait to hear what happens next. x